too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
