$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
