I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
