i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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