First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
