my soul wont recognize me after tonight
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
