Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
