Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
