new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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