I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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