My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
