Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You're a waste of cheezeits
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
