is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
