im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
