can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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