He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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