he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
