Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
