In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
