They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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