Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
