You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
