fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
