I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
