3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
