you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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