I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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