Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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