Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
high people should be assigned attendants
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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