Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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