Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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