So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
