I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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