what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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