he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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