So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
