3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
