I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
