I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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