I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Randomize
