I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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