Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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