I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
