I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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