That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
