So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize