He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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