dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
