So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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