I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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