would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
