dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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