Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
