real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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